Meet the 38 Dumbest Criminals of All Time
You think they would have known to plan things out a little better.
No One Likes a Tattler
A Good Samaritan noticed an elderly man being robbed, so he jumped in and punched the thief. The thief was so upset, he called the police to complain.
Next Time, Steal a Milky Way
When Stephan Crane broke into the Ravelli Republic (Montana) newsroom, he used the computers to watch porn and check Facebook. Then Crane doused the office with a fire extinguisher, took some candy, and left. It wasn’t difficult to find him, however; the police just followed the trail of stolen M&Ms that led to his sister’s place across the way.
Can You Read Me Now?
When police in Vancouver, Canada, asked to search Jason Pauchay’s apartment for drugs, he was not a suspect—in fact, they were looking for someone else. That all changed when they got a look at how his name was listed on his cell phone: “Jason Pauchay Drug Dealer.”
The Back-to-Jail Special
Two men decided a back-to-school event at an office supply store would be the perfect time to do some shoplifting. After all, store clerks would be busy helping an influx of shoppers. The sale happened to coincide with the annual “Shop with a Cop” day when about 60 police officers show up to help children pick out school supplies.
Adan Juarez Ramirez had it all figured out—he could be a cop without having to take the boring test. But he was arrested in Grapevine, Texas, after pulling over a driver in his pickup truck, outfitted with flashing lights. He even had an ID badge, which he’d made by blacking out a restaurant gift card and etching in the word “POLICE.” However, he’d kept the restaurant’s logo, a jalapeño pepper surrounded by the words “Chipotle Mexican Grill.” See if you’ve broken any of the funniest and dumbest laws in all 50 states.
The Case of the Returned Merchandise
A Target store in Augusta, Georgia, agreed to take back a printer from a dissatisfied customer. Then the clerk noticed some work the customer forgot to remove from the machine: Counterfeit bills.
You Mean It’s Not Scout Night?
Two machete-wielding men barged into a Sydney, Australia, bar demanding money. They didn’t know the club was hosting a bikers’ meeting at the time. One of the robbers ended up in the hospital, the other hog-tied with electrical wire. Don’t miss these 11 emergency room stories almost too crazy to be true.
Hampered by Stupidity
In Mesa, Arizona, a home break-in was foiled when the burglar jumped through the bedroom window—and got trapped in a clothes hamper. Cops took it from there. (That definitely wasn’t the kind of clean getaway he had planned.) These tricks will help you outsmart criminals who are smarter than him.
Worst Customer Service Ever!
Joseph Goetz’s alleged attempt to rob a York, Pennsylvania, bank met with some snags. Cops say the first teller he tried to rob fainted and the next two had no more cash in their drawers. Fed up, Goetz stormed out, threatening to write an angry letter to the bank.
A German bank robber sent mocking emails to local police, ridiculing their efforts to arrest him. First, he let them know they had his age, build, and accent wrong. Then he corrected their announcement that he’d escaped on foot; no, he had a getaway car! The cops got the last word in, though, when they arrested the guy a few hours later. They used his email to trace him.