Comedians Share Their Most Useful (and Hilarious) Advice for Dads
IKEA furniture comes with more instructions than that crying infant you’ve brought home from the hospital or the grumpy teenager who won’t talk to you. Here, parenting advice all petrified fathers should keep in mind.
Where your wife gives birth matters
Your wife may not want the birth to become a spectator sport, anyway. If you think that’s funny advice, check out this life advice from the wittiest people who ever lived.
Prepare yourself: There’s nothing pretty about the birthing process
No one said childbirth is all rainbows and sunshine. Thanks for the mental image, Jeff.
There’s only one thing you need to know about diapers
Everything else concerning diapers is secondary. Speaking of diapers, try these natural diaper rash remedies on your little one.
If you’re going to have one kid, might as well have a bunch
Sounds like one of those sage mantras from the olden days. Of course, things have changed since then. Old etiquette books had some ridiculous tips that people actually followed. Now it’s just funny advice that no one follows.
Set aside alone time for you and your precious little snowflakes
Timing is everything when it comes to parenting—and apparently when it comes to funny advice, too.
Gush over every gift your child bestows upon you
Don’t give your dad the same tie in a new color every year. These are Father’s Day gifts that every dad will actually love.
Learn from other parents
That’s one way to handle it, we suppose.
Keep in mind: Playtime is together-time
Dads who do this in real life are comedic geniuses, and we should be taking funny advice from them. Instead, here’s the advice that intellectual geniuses give their kids.
Devise a plan to deal with your grumpy teen
You may reconsider that plan once you find out all the secrets your dog knows about you.
Always have your wits about you
Just like that cup of coffee. And your keys. And your wallet. And your sanity.
Stock up on energy bars
Except the mess from the blender is easier to clean up.
Expect the unexpected
Want to know another fascinating fact about twins? You’re more likely to conceive them now than you were 30 years ago. Congrats in advance!
Beware what you say around the house
They’ll say it twice as often if you tell them to never say it again.
Your home is not a restaurant
Or you can pop in a frozen dinner that you can serve guilt-free.
And never be ashamed to believe that your child is perfection personified
Yes, comedians go through the same parenting struggles as the rest of us. Just look at these hilarious parenting tweets that are so spot-on, it’s scary.