A co-worker stinks
bbernard/Shutterstock Are those moldy socks? Has someone left their sandwich on their desk before going off on vacation? Is there a boys’ gym class working out in the next room? No, it’s Ralph in the adjoining cubicle! If your co-worker is stinking up the joint then hold your nose and let him or her know with this allegorical tale:
Mitchy had a problem with body odor, so he went to see his doctor.
“Do you wash?” the doctor asked him.
“Of course,” Mitchy replied. “Every single morning I begin at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then, I begin at my feet and wash up as far as possible.”
“Well,” the doctor told him, “I suggest you go home and wash possible.” For more laughs check out these work cartoons to help you get through the week.
You insist on a raise
Jacob Lund/Shutterstock Armed with reams of proof of your worthiness, you are about to barge into your boss’s office prepared to demand the moon. STOP! Read this joke first and dial back your ultimatum.
After two months on the job, the new employee believes he deserves a fat raise.
“And how much of a raise do you want?” asks his boss.
“I’m thinking an extra $50,000 a year,” says the employee.
The boss nods. “Sounds about right. And what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”
The employee sits up straight. “Wow!” he says. “Are you kidding?”
“Yes, but you started it.”