14 History Jokes Only History Buffs Will Understand
Test your history chops with these hilarious quips.
Quit Russian me
Why was WWI so quick?
Because they were Russian.
Why was WW2 so slow?
Because they were Stalin.
A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please!” If you’re not into history jokes, test your smarts with these 36 math jokes.
An executive order
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting. —Ronald Reagan
A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare. The librarian replies, “You’ll only lose it.” These are our 25 favorite military cartoons.
Fidel Castro visits Moscow and is taken on a tour by Leonid Brezhnev. First, they go for a drink, and Castro praises the beer. “Yes, it was provided by our good friends from Czechoslovakia,” says Brezhnev. Next, they go for a ride in a car, and Castro admires the car. “Yes, these cars are provided by our good friends from Czechoslovakia.”
They drive to an exhibition of beautiful cut glass, which Castro greatly admires. “Yes, this glass is provided by our good friends from Czechoslovakia.”
Marx’s drink of choice
Why did Karl Marx dislike Early Grey tea?
Because proper tea is theft.
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights. Here are more hilarious puns.
A presidential quip
In my many years, I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. —President John Adams