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The 50 Funniest Jokes About All 50 States

Why are people laughing at your home state? Find out here—then give some back with these 50 jokes for 50 states.

Welcome to Sweet Home Alabama Road Sign along Interstate 10 in Robertsdale, Alabama USA, near the State Border with FloridaAllard One/Shutterstock


When a visitor to a town in Alabama spotted a dog attacking a boy, he grabbed the animal and throttled it with his bare hands. An impressed reporter saw the incident and told him the next day's headline would scream "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

"I'm not from this town," said the hero.

"Then," the reporter said, "it will say 'Alabama Man Saves Child by Killing Dog.'"

"Actually," said the man, "I'm from New Hampshire."

"In that case," the reporter grumbled, "the headline will be 'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"

Check out these short jokes that anyone can remember.

The Welcome to Alaska and the Gateway to the Klondike sign in Alaska, America in the cloudy dayfon thachakul/Shutterstock


An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, "Where were you on the night of October to April?"

Alaska's state motto is "North to the Future!" Learn the fascinating mottos of all 50 states here.

Arizona welcome sign at the state border with red rocks backgroundfotomak/Shutterstock


It's so hot in Arizona, cows are giving evaporated milk and the trees are whistling for dogs.

Welcome to Arkansas SignJoseph Sohm/Shutterstock


An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40.

He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver asks, "'Bout what?"

Welcome to California state sign on highway upon entering state border of CaliforniaTeri Virbickis/Shutterstock


What is every Californian's favorite part about the winter? Watching all of the bad weather on TV.

These hilarious dad jokes will have you laughing until you cry.

Welcome to colorful Colorado sign along the Colorado and Utah border.Paul Brady Photography/Shutterstock


How do you know you're in the presence of a real Coloradan? He carries his $3,000 mountain bike atop his $500 car.

Welcome to Connecticut SignJoseph Sohm/Shutterstock


What's the difference between Massachusetts and Connecticut? The Kennedys don't own Connecticut.

Welcome to Delaware SignJoseph Sohm/Shutterstock


A DuPont chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" says the pharmacist.

"That's it! I can never remember that word."

"Welcome to Florida" signVlad G/Shutterstock


My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law.—Jerry Seinfeld

State sign for Georgia welcomes visitors in a shaded rest areaSue Smith/Shutterstock


How do you know you live in Georgia? When all directions start with "Go down Peachtree ..." and include the phrase "When you see the Waffle House ..."

If you have this phobia, you actually don't know how to take a joke.

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