Had One Too Many Drinks? 10 Ways to Sober Up Fast

Your guide to getting out of Drunkville in a jiffy—though you should still let Uber drive you home.


10-Ways-to-Sober-Up-Fast SedovaY/Shutterstock

Water is as good at clearing up a boozed-up brain as it is at curing your thirst. "Alcohol dehydrates the body which causes a lot of the side effects of alcohol," said Zehra Siddiqui, MD, a Manhattan-based family practice physician who specializes in integrative medicine and has been known to enjoy an occasional martini. "Also it does help to dilute the alcohol." The old adage of downing a healthy glass of H2O per every goblet full of unhealthy hooch actually seems to be true. Check out these other benefits of hydration.

Enzyme tablets

10-Ways-to-Sober-Up-FastAnna Hoychuk/Shutterstock

While new studies continue on a drug called Baclofen which is said to curb the cravings for Coors that chronic alcoholism breeds—what of popping a pill that immediately lets any imbiber ace a DUI test? A team at UCLA Henry Samueli School of Engineering and Applied Science feels your pain/pilsner intake. They're currently working on one that contains oxidase to break down alcohol and a second enzyme to clean up the toxic waste that oxidase causes. So far it has only been tested on some very brainy, yet beer-bellied mice.

Bad carbs


Fizzy drinks can be as fun as their end-of-the-night results are frightening. Carbonated beverages such as beer, champagne, or even rum served with Coke speed up your body's absorption of alcohol more than the non-bubbly kind. So next time order a vodka and tonic...hold the tonic. Fin out what to do with all that leftover club soda.

And the good kind...


Bread-based buffets can un-redden your eyes as quickly as they increase the size of your thighs. "Eating a high-carb diet lowers the ration of alcohol in your blood and to slow absorption," confirms Dr. Siddiqui.

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The clock


Jagger wasn't referring to Jäger when he sang "Time Is On My Side" because it takes your body around an hour to absorb one drink. Maybe all those late night stumbles into 24-hour White Castles weren't as regrettable as initially thought? Nah...still regrettable.

Milk thistle


Sure it sounds like the staple diet of some throwaway Dr. Seuss creature, but not only is this herbal remedy a real thing, it apparently puts the "live" back in your "liver". This little purple flower, with shiny marbled leaves, may have the ability to detoxify this, our most toxin riddled of glandular organs, with regular doses possibly preventing heart disease and bladder issues., reports webmd.com.



They're not just for post-spin class anymore. Indeed, your average ginger-apple-carrot is loaded with all manner of goodness that'll get you out of your drunk doldrums faster than you can say,"Can I get a side of wheat grass with that?" (Ugh. Maybe just don't drink, period, so you can avoid saying that sentence altogether.) "Depending what's in them, smoothies really are great," adds Dr. Siddequi. "Pineapple, ginger, mint, and coconut—that's a personal favorite, but think fruits and veggies that are high in vitamin C and antioxidants."


10-Ways-to-Sober-Up-FastDudarev Mikhail/Shutterstock

Ever notice, during bar crawls, that your ability to maintain is in direct relation to the distance between Stoolie McPickleBacks and TJ McGillicuty's Fun Time Drinkorium? A little cardio goes a long way into preventing you from getting a tad too happy during happy hour. "Exercise gets the blood flowing through the liver so it detoxes your blood faster," says Dr. Siddiqui. And the Discovery Channel's dearly departed MythBusters deemed the restorative abilities of a long-jog-after a-lot-of-grog to be "plausible," (while also completely trashing the coffee-after-drinking theory as "busted"). Find out what your favorite cocktail reveals about you.

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Happily science has discovered that booze doesn't kill brain cells, (although it's still not great for your long-term cognitive abilities overall). But what do they say of the rejuvenating effects of boozing begetting barfing? Indeed, most Americans become aware of the whole premise behind the "boot and rally" theorem shortly after the first time their high school pals host a parent-free house party. But does it actually work? Per Australia-based drug and alcohol educator, Paul Dillon's Real Deal On Drugs blog, "vomiting cleans out these toxins, making you feel better and also preventing more alcohol from reaching your brain and getting more drunk." But the chemicals expert is quick to add that most of the bounce-back a chunk-blower feels is due more to the endorphins and adrenaline that's released after.


10-Ways-to-Sober-Up-FastEvgeniy pavlovski/Shutterstock

While a loss of amore is often why we guzzle alcohol to begin with, a healthy dose of it could actually contain its ill effects. A study from the Universities of Sydney and Regensburg indicates that oxytocin, i.e., the love hormone, injected into animals helped them quickly retain motor and brain function after alcohol impairment. So instead of not having sex because of a headache, do it to avoid the three martini brain buster that would otherwise be on its way.

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