30 Real-Life Neighbor Nightmares That Will Make You Cringe
So you think you have some crazy neighbors? We scoured reddit for these 30 real-life neighbor nightmares—some of which may make you rethink just what makes someone a crazy neighbor.
Not quite loud music, but one poster noted he had a neighbor who whistled really loudly while out for walks and doing yard work. And while the neighbor was a good whistler, another “cranky” neighbor had enough and called the cops on him. These are the 10 ordinances to know when you have a nuisance neighbor.
The late-night gardener
Who doesn’t garden in the middle of the night? “My neighbor would garden at 2 a.m., which would be OK if it weren’t for the fact she would spy on us when we came home late.” Try these tips for easier gardening any time of day.
The pet raccoon
One poster noted his neighbor had a pet raccoon that they kept in an apartment. “His raccoon is registered as his emotional support pet. His raccoon’s name is Mason Dixon. Mason Dixon has a sister named Moonshine that was stolen.” This is the best way to get rid of pesky raccoons.
The tuxedo wearer
Ever wonder what your rarely seen neighbors are up to in their spare time? “The only time I have seen one of my neighbors outside, he was wearing a tuxedo and carrying a box of ceramic model dragons to add to his open trunk, already full of ceramic model dragons.”
A scary wake-up
Here’s a reason to keep your doors locked. “The neighbor came home drunk, parked on our back lawn and fell asleep on our couch.” Here are 15 smart door locks to try.
The trash police
One poster said a neighbor would get upset if people didn’t pull their trash cans in immediately after the garbage truck came. Since many worked during the day, this upset her. One day, the poster came home to his trash can pushed over on the other side of the street. Find out the nice things people have done to help out their neighbors.
The tree washer
How often do you wash your trees? One neighbor recalled a woman across the street who would wash her trees with a mop. These are the 16 things you should not do when cutting down a tree.
The squirrel hunter
Depending on where you live, hunting squirrels may be common. But one poster noted, “I came home one day to find my neighbor in his underwear and boots with an AR-15 trying to shoot a squirrel on our roof.” Prevent squirrels from reaching your birdseed with these 10 tips.
The tree cutter
Sometimes you just need a better view. “My neighbor walked into my backyard and chopped off the top of one of my trees, apparently to get a better view of the valley I live in.” Cut a tree down safely with these tips.
The balcony hopper
“The first week I moved into my new place on the 21st floor, the neighbor came and asked me if it was OK for him to use my balcony as one of a few balcony hops he’d do to get over to his buddy’s place in the other tower without going all the way down and back up. I told him it was OK so long as my curtains were closed or I wasn’t home.”
Sometimes carports are used for more than just protecting cars. “My neighbors had not one but two wakes in their carport. First one there was actually a casket with the deceased in it. It lasted for three days while dozens of people came every day. They had a port-a-potty right next to our fence just feet away from our living room.”
The “quiet” neighbors
Ever have neighbors who never seem to come out of their home? That was the case with one poster who just thought he had really quiet neighbors. That was until he found out they were running a brothel out of their four-bedroom home. “Yes, they were arrested,” he said. These 20 things are driving your neighbors nuts.
Cancel my subscription
One neighbor was described as a friendly young guy with a wife and four kids, “But kinda nuts. One day I looked out into the street and he had three newspapers, still in the bags, lined up on the street and each one circled in fluorescent spray paint. On the side of his van he had painted in the same paint, ‘Don’t want your paper, no more, forever.’” Perhaps that’s one way of canceling your subscription. Your neighbors want you to stop doing these 10 things.
The pet monkey
“Our neighbor decided to adopt a monkey. She would bring him outside for the kids to play with him and take photos. The monkey was around for a few weeks and after that, I never saw it again.”
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It’s common for neighbors to bring over casseroles or baked goods, but how about… squirrel? “One day I heard two gunshots go off at once, and look outside to see the man standing in his yard pointing his shotgun at a tree. I step outside to see what’s going on and he says he’s shooting squirrels and asked if I’d like one for dinner.” These 15 pest control stories will make you squirm.
Ready for church?
One poster recalled a religious neighbor who came over every Sunday to give them a ride to church. They kindly declined every time. “We sold the house and the new owners got a judge to issue a no-contact order. The overly religious neighbors were not even allowed to walk by the house anymore.” These are the 10 things you neighbor won’t tell you.
One man had a little too much to drink and ended up driving his car into a neighbor’s house. The man then tried to blame the accident on the homeowner.
The “kidnapped” woman
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A poster remembered a neighbor who called the police to report that his wife had been kidnapped. She went missing earlier in the day and didn’t come home. Turns out, the woman was just at work. You can install these DIY home security systems right now.
The garden thief
“My neighbor came into my backyard when she thought we (university students) had gone home for the summer. I still lived in the house. In fact, I was sitting by the window when she entered our backyard. I thought nothing of it. I chalked it up to her looking for her cat.” Later, the poster saw the women again. “She was walking out of my backyard with all our plants. She stole our garden.”
The dog growler
No one wants an encounter with the mean neighborhood dog, but one woman took it to a whole new level. “A neighbor took me to court and tried to sue me for $24,000 because my dog growled at her and caused her emotional distress.” The poster said the case didn’t get far in court.
The football commenters
Two football fans who lived about ten houses apart would yell to each other about the game. “You basically got the best commentary on games,” the poster said. “Then some lady called in a noise complaint. When the cops came, they said, ‘Oh, how’s the game? Who’s winning?’”
The dead cat
One neighbor tried to be a good Samaritan when he thought a neighbor’s cat died. “But it wasn’t the cat, it was just some insulation left outside,” the poster said. Don’t miss these signs that you’re a great neighbor.
The speed catcher
One neighbor would stand outside with a radar gun, measuring how fast cars were going. “If one went too fast he’d jump in the street to make them stop and then lecture them how they need to slow down.”
Apartment living can be tough. There are thin walls and people with all types of schedules. One woman recalled a neighbor who would sing along to Marilyn Manson’s “Sweet Dreams” on a loop from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. Here are 12 little-known rights of renters.
“I used to live in a condo and the old lady across the street invited a bunch of us neighbors over for dinner one night. I really didn’t think anything of it and went. From the start, she started badgering me to go on a date with her. She started by asking me to marry her though, to which I replied ‘NO WAY.’” Check out these easy upgrades that make a home safer for older residents.
One neighbor was known as “Speedo John.” “The day we moved into this nice, typical suburban, family oriented neighborhood, Speedo John greets us from his lawn in his leopard print Speedo which was hardly visible underneath his giant beer belly.” Some things you just can’t un-see. Here are the 100 grossest things seen by home inspectors.
The uninvited visitor
One poster recalled walking out of his room one day to find a little boy in the house. “After about ten minutes trying to find out where he came from, he decides to walk outside where his mom was watering her lawn.” These are the ways to build trust with your neighbors.
“Our property used to have a stream so small and peaceful that there are photos of my dad standing on both sides at once. The genius neighbor thought it disrupted his property so he re-routed the stream through his backyard. That messed up the flow and the stream became a swamp.” Learn how to build a backyard waterfall and stream the right way.
The dog hater
“I have a neighbor who gets irrationally upset when he sees people with dogs simply walk by his house, since he is overly protective of his lawn and garden. I learned this because I made the mistake of walking my dog by his house once. As he caught me, he stormed out and gave me a five-minute speech about how I shouldn’t let my dog walk by his house.” Keep your dog warm outside with these 12 ideas.
The man with a hammer
“I was driving home one day, and I noticed a man who lives on the corner was hiding around the corner of his house, holding a hammer, and occasionally peeking around the corner. I have no clue what he was doing. I still see him sometimes, and he seems fairly normal, other than that.” Next, find out the things your neighbors secretly know about you.