We can teach kids there’s no i in team, but it’s way more important
to teach them that there’s no a in
Humorist Aaron Fullerton
Become more interesting every week!
Get our Read Up newsletter
Thanks! You're on our list.
And your life's about to get more interesting.
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
It’s been raining so much in Los Angeles that the Chia Pet I threw in the garbage is now blocking my entire driveway.
I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant … because I believe in myself.
Hallmark: “When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by
Ritz crackers: “Tiny, edible plates.”
CliffsNotes: “They’re still going to know you didn’t read the book.”
Gillette: “We’re just… Read More
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me
everything you know.”
If you can’t beat them, arrange
to have them beaten.
My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@FattMernandez (Matt Fernandez)
Getting back together with an old boyfriend is pathetic. It’s like having a garage sale and buying your own stuff back.