If you’re a fan of lousy literature, you’re in luck: Here are two
intentionally bad first lines of nonexistent novels.
As he caressed her hair, cheek, forehead, chin, collarbone, shoulder, upper arm, and
stomach, she knew that her
decision to take Octoman as
a lover was the correct one. L. C.
If Vicky Walters had known
that ordering an extra shot of espresso in her grande non-fat sugar free one pump raspberry syrup two pumps vanilla syrup soy latte that Wednesday would lead to her death and subsequent rebirth as a vampire, she probably would have at least gotten whipped cream. M. C.
From the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest