“Next time I send a damn fool,
I go myself.”
—Sgt. Louis Cukela, reportedly said at the
Battle of Belleau Wood during World War I
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What do you get from a pampered cow?…Spoiled milk.
Meanwhile in a parallel universe: “Oh for God’s sake! Where are all these extra single socks coming from?!”
On the subway, untangling earbuds is the new knitting. The woman across from me could have finished
a cardigan by now.
—Greg Preece, on humorlabs.com
I didn’t enlist in the Army — I was drafted. So I wasn’t going to make life easy for anyone. During my physical, the doctor asked softly, "Can you read the letters on the wall?" "What letters?" I answered slyly."… Read More
You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
My dad didn’t text me after the Patriots game, which is basically a Life Alert signal if you’re from New England.
Some guy’s looking at this old picture of me with no beard. Then he looks at me and goes, “You grow a beard?”
No, I shave my photos.
I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.