Q: A man rode in to town on Tuesday, and left two days later on Tuesday. How so?
A: His horse is named Tuesday!
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Q: What did zero say to eight?
A: Nice belt.
Q. How many seconds are there in a year?
A. Twelve—January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…
Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it, you’ll die. What is it?
Q. There are three apples on a table and you take away two of them. How many apples do you have now?
A. Two, of course!
Q: What do pandas have that no other animal has?
A: Baby pandas!
Q: What do you call a bear without an ear?
A: A “b”.
Q: What has 13 hearts, but no other organs?
A: A deck of playing cards.
Q: What only gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel!