What should you do when
you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?
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“Um.” —First horse that got ridden
Q: Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
A: She got too jumpy!
Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors?
Q. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
A. You’re purrr-fect for me.
A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink named Steve?”
Marry an orphan: You’ll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.
Today is Thursday the 13th, which means it’s bad luck to deal with Australians.
Q. What did the sleepy Australian bear say at the job interview?
A. “I believe I am koala-fied for this position.”