The Woes of Aging
The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in agony. "You know you’re past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the massage chair."
I'm bald--well, balding. I like to say "balding" because it sounds more productive. And I don't like to say I'm losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had I been more responsible, this wouldn't have happened. "Where's your hair?" "I lost it. You know me. Where are my keys?"