A Duck Walks Into a Drugstore
A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, “That’ll be $1.49.” The duck replies, “Put it on my bill.”
More Jokes
How Distasteful
Q. What happened when one cannibal arrived late to the dinner party?
A. The others gave him the cold shoulder.
Hey, Break a Leg!
Did you hear about the Broadway actor who broke through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.—Contributed by Adam Joshua Smargon
The Past, Present and Future…
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
Dough for the Poor
Q: Why did the poor man sell yeast?
A: To raise some dough.
Two Cartons of Yogurt…
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who is a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”
Genie Logic
A hiker stumbles upon a golden lamp in the forest. He rubs it, and out pops a real-life genie.
“In return for freeing me,” says the genie, “I will grant you three wishes.”
“I want a million more wishes,” the hiker says … Read More
Harry Potter Sequels
After J. K. Rowling announced that she might write a Harry Potter sequel—he was last seen as a married dad—The Week asked its readers to predict the title of the next book. Here’s what they divined:
Harry Potter and the Goblet of … Read More
