Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where all the fruit is?
Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet
I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.
Carrying two dead raccoons, a buzzard tries to check in at LAX for the red-eye to New York. "Sorry, sir," says the ticket agent. "We allow only one item of carrion."
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Gee, I’ll never part with it!
As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
Phil Noyes, Yakima, Washington