Swimming is Confusing…
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.
Comedian Demetri Martin
I played for a semipro baseball team. At every game we sold raffle tickets. Half the money paid the team’s expenses and the other half went to the winning ticket holder. One day they held the drawing just as I was stepping up to bat.
The home plate umpire pulled the winning ticket, and then turned to me. "Could you read me the number?" he asked. "My vision’s not too good."