Bear Caught in the Rain

It was so hot in Beverly Hills, 
people were frying egg whites on the sidewalk.

Comedian Matt Wohlfarth

Q: What did the evaporating raindrop say?

A: I’m going to pieces.

Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

A: Thunderwear!

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.

Bob Hope

Q: What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?

A: One is reined up and the other rains down.

Q: What does it do before it rains candy?

A: It sprinkles!

We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.

Lew Schneider

As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.

I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”

Phil Noyes, Yakima, Washington