Q. Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?
A. Holly-wood!
These holiday “headlines” — concocted by the satirists at the Onion — are completely fabricated. And yet they have the ring of truth.
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Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one says to the other, “What do you think about this Satan stuff?”
“Well, you remember Santa? This could turn out to be your dad too.”
Q: Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
A: At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.
Q. What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed?
A. Cookie sheets!
Q. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A. A pineapple!
By Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.
I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”
Bernard Manning
Did you hear that Santa knows karate?
He has a black belt.
Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?
A: Because they are rain deer.
