My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with wearing different clothes every half an hour.
I said, “Wait, I can change.”
After waiting two hours for her date, Sarah concluded she’d been stood up. So she changed into pajamas, made some popcorn, and flopped down in front of the TV. Then the doorbell rang—it was her date. He took one look at Sarah and gasped. “You’re still not ready?”