I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe? Narnia business!
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
I put all my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1Forrest1
Q: What’s the worst part about movie theater candy prices?
A: They’re always raisinet.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets really bad, I take something for it.