Bloody Good Question
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How can you ever be late for anything in London? They have
a huge clock right in the middle
of the town.
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Bifocals are God’s way of saying, “Keep your chin up.”
Comedian Matt Wohlfarth
A zookeeper is ordering new
animals. As he fills out the forms, he types “two mongeese.” That doesn’t look right, so he tries “two mongoose,” then “two mongooses.” Giving up, he types, “One mongoose, and while you’re at… Read More
My friend is a procrastinator. He’s afraid of Saturday the 14th.
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
After i-messaging back and forth with my wife, I jokingly commanded Siri to pass along this message: “You need to get back to work now; you have a husband to support.”
Here’s what Siri sent: “You need
to get back to work now; … Read More
I always wanted to be somebody, but I guess I should’ve been more specific.
Being a lifeguard is a weird summer job for a kid. Ninety-nine percent of the time, sit and do nothing. One percent of the time, SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE.
Jake Weisman (@weismanjake)
Luke Skywalker is my favorite hero that looks 100 percent prepared to figure skate at all times.
@thenatewolf (Nathan Usher)