I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
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The most fattening thing that you can put in an ice cream sundae is the spoon.
Q: What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea?
A: A salad shooter.
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: He went back four seconds.
Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two…alone. —”Laugh Yourself Healthy,” by Charles Hunter
Why are most horses in shape? Because they are on a stable diet.
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
Q: When should you go on a cheese diet?
A: If you need to cheddar few pounds.
D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?