This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I've never met herbivore.
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Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
My fitness goal is to get down to what I told the DMV I weigh.
A funny thing with a diet, the second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
I finally heard some good news. I’m not overweight. I’m undertall. What a relief!
You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Hey, Lady! Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of the purse.
I tell people I’m on a low-carb diet. But in reality, I just eat pasta while lying on the floor.