You Can’t Forget That Face

Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.

Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: He went back four seconds.

Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?

She heard you could get thinner there.

Q. What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?

A. A desserter.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

My fitness coach told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said, “I don’t have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?” —@KerryKatona7

Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?

A: A meathead!

The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback