Can’t Imagine Why…
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People always tell me I'm condescending.
(That means talking down to people.)
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Why were all the ink spots crying?
Their father was in the pen.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed some space.—Contributed by James Brink
A man vacations on a tropical
island, and the first thing he hears
is drums. He goes to the beach
and hears the drums; he eats lunch, he hears the drums; he tries to sleep, he can’t—drums. Finally he storms over to the manager… Read More
“Martin Levine, owner of a movie theater chain in New York City, has passed away at age 65,” read the newspaper obit. “The funeral will be held on Thursday at 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40, and 10:50.”
When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.
Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?
A: Because they are rain deer.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.