a deeply religious
time that each of us
observes, in his own way, by going to the
mall of his choice.
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An aye for an aye makes the whole world pirates.
Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all the credit.
@ludwig (Ludwig Pettersson)
No, I’m not walking on string-cheese stilts. These are just my first bare legs of the season.
@sassycurmudgeon (Una LaMarche)
I gave my cat a bath the other day … they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, and it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that …
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
If you want to look young and thin, hang around old, fat people.
My parents sent me to military school in Switzerland. There they taught me how to be neutral.
Q: Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?
A: Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.