The one thing I’ve learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn’t mastered the haircut.
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Old lawyers never die; they just lose their appeal.
is coming out with an organic Twinkie. Isn’t that called a sponge?
Just want to thank my mail carrier for delivering my recycling directly to my house.
A sign outside a nursery: "It’s spring! We’re so excited, we wet our plants!"
One Christmas, my grandfather gave me a box
of broken glass. He gave my brother a box of
Band-Aids and said, “You two share.”
Just realized a pregnant dog is a dog full of puppies. That’s the best.
Hate to break it to you,
Facebook, but the entire Internet
is already a Dislike button.
The boating store was having a big sale on canoes. It was quite the oar deal.