Things just aren't going to work out between us. It's not you, it's me. You are tasteless, boring, and I can't stop cheating on you.
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Trail mix is just an inconvenient way to eat M&Ms.
I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
“I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.”—@sbellelauren
I’m not fat, but I’m not thin either. I’m at a point where you can definitely tell I like chocolate cake.
Definition of Calories: Tiny creatures colonizing your closet. They sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.