Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants because he doesn't want to gain weight in the wrong places?
Become more interesting every week!
Get our Read Up newsletter
Thanks! You're on our list.
And your life's about to get more interesting.
Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.
Definition of Calories: Tiny creatures colonizing your closet. They sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
I know it’s three meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!
One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.