Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants because he doesn't want to gain weight in the wrong places?
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Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.
Q: When should you go on a cheese diet?
A: If you need to cheddar few pounds.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.
It took a lot of willpower, but I finally gave up dieting.
Never go back for seconds… get it all the first time.
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A: You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.