Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants because he doesn't want to gain weight in the wrong places?
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A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A funny thing with a diet, the second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’ve never met herbivore.
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
I have removed all the food from the house. It was delicious