Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
A: To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Q: What do you call a running turkey?
A: Fast food.
Q: Why do turkeys lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they would break.
Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Your nose.
Q: What key won’t open any door?
A: A turkey!
Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected fowl play.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”—Jon Stewart
Q: What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
A: Wing, Wing! Wing, Wing!