No Animal Testing
Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad?
A: It hasn’t been tested on mice.
More Jokes
Diet Downer
I’m not vegetarian because I love animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
Nationwide Eating Plan
“I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.”—@sbellelauren
Can’t Hide
I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
Apocalyptic
Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
A: GggRrrAaaIiiNnSsss!
File This Under Second Thoughts
“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
The Best Diet Plans…
Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.
Autocorrect Fail
My brain said “crunches” but my stomach auto-corrected it to “cupcakes.”