Don’t Watch Others Eat

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pen, cell phone, temper, and my mind.

How do most people curb their appetite? At the drive thru window.

What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A desserter.

Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants because he doesn’t want to gain weight in the wrong places?

Hey, Lady! Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of the purse.

Q: Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A: He’ll dessert you.

Do you call a person who has abandoned their diet a desserter?

Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.