Don’t Watch Others Eat

The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback

Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two…alone. —”Laugh Yourself Healthy,” by Charles Hunter

My snack got lost in my purse, so I guess I’m on a diet now.—@msgweni

Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!

Q: When should you go on a cheese diet?
A: If you need to cheddar few pounds.

Q: What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea?
A: A salad shooter.

Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: He went back four seconds.

I’m not fat, but I’m not thin either. I’m at a point where you can definitely tell I like chocolate cake.