Eliza Bayne on Bikini Dangers

My niece Katrina tailgates other cars and it makes me nervous. I just can’t get it through her head that she does this and that it’s very dangerous. One good thing is that I sometimes find myself drawing closer to the Lord when I ride … Read More

My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. 
A stone’s throw away, in fact.

Stewart Francis

Febreze air fresheners: for people who are like, “Cover a smell instead of cleaning it? Yes, I’m OK with that.”

Erin Whitehead @girlwithatail

How come you never see a headline like “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Jay Leno

We can teach kids there’s no i in team, but it’s way more important 
to teach them that there’s no a in 
definitely.

Humorist Aaron Fullerton

My favorite game  is “Professional Dog Walker or Crazy Person?”

@KenJennings

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that 
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.

Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived… Read More

You know it’s time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

Zach Galifianakis