Q. What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?
A. "'Tis the season to be jelly!"
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Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?
A: He uses Comet.
Q: How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
A; He was hooked on trees his whole life
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite snack food?
A: Crisp Pringles.
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you love Jesus. Keep on texting while you drive if you want to meet him."
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.
Q: Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December?
A: So they could have a married Christmas
Q: Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?
A: Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”