While I was performing in a show outside Chicago, there was a gentleman who could often be found hanging around the lobby. Every¬one called him the Marquis. One day, I asked the artistic director if he’d gotten the nickname because he looked so distinguished. No, he replied. "We call him the Marquee because he hangs out in front of the theater and is usually lit."
Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
Q: What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!
Q: What do skeletons say before eating?
A: Bone Appetit!
Q: Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
A: He was caught drinking on the job!
Q: What is a vampire’s pet peeve?
A: A Tourniquet!
Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!