In honor of our armed forces, the University of South Carolina football team used the backs of players’ jerseys to display a little patriotism. They placed words like Duty, Service, Courage, and Commitment where players’ names would normally go. During the game against the University of Florida, a fight broke out, prompting the television commentator to announce, "It looked like Integrity threw the first punch."
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.