A millionaire, a hard hat, and a drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest. It’s now the drunk’s turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
Q: What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue?
A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!
Q: What do skeletons say before eating?
A: Bone Appetit!
Q: Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank?
A: He was caught drinking on the job!
Q: What is a vampire’s pet peeve?
A: A Tourniquet!
Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!