Get a print subscription to Reader's Digest and instantly enjoy free digital access on any device.
Next: Provide address & payment
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A necktarine!
Become more interesting every week!
Get our Read Up newsletter
Thanks! You're on our list.
And your life's about to get more interesting.
Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A: A coffin.
Q: What do you call a monster with no neck?
A: The Lost Neck Monster.
The skeleton literally didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
Q: What do you call a man who lures women into his place and turns them into ghastly freaks?
A: A 1980’s hairdresser!