A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.
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Q. What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A. A beer in each hand.
Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
“I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.”—@sbellelauren
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’ve never met herbivore.
Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!
Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A: You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!