1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. OK, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
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Don’t let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.—Mae West
I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.
The only qualification for working at an airline is making
a confused face at a monitor.
Comedian Julius Sharpe
The meek shall inherit the earth … if it’s okay with the rest of you.
When it comes
to candy bars, the term fun-sized
is misleading. There is nothing fun about your candy bar being ⅛ the size of a regular bar. You should call them what they are:
All pro athletes are
bilingual. They speak English and profanity.
Gordie Howe, hockey player
“Um.” —First horse that got ridden
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work…I want to achieve it through not dying.—Woody Allen