Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
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If you are what you eat … I need to eat a skinny person.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pen, cell phone, temper, and my mind.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.
I heard Bruce Willis is trying to lose weight. Apparently, he’s trying to “Diet Hard.”
Q: What do you call a dumb omnivore?
A: A meathead!
I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.—@sbellelauren
Q: What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea?
A: A salad shooter.
Q: How did Native Americans say vegetarian?
A: “Bad hunter!”