Cut and Run
The one thing I’ve learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn’t mastered the haircut.
Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken.
"No," he replies. "I used to take my wife to all the games, but ever since she passed away, I’ve gone alone."
"Why don’t you invite a friend?"
"I can’t. They’re all at the funeral."