All pro athletes are
bilingual. They speak English and profanity.
Gordie Howe, hockey player
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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
“Dad?” —Zebra looking at a piano
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Sick of having to go to two different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses.
I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
Patrick McLellan (@pmclellan)
Q: Where does a king keep his armies?A: In his sleevies!
A passing septic service truck declared "19,500 lbs. of very gross weight."