You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
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Q: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow?
A: One if nobody’s looking.
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
My fitness goal is to get down to what I told the DMV I weigh.
Hey, Lady! Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of the purse.
What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.
1. Read about new diet
2. Spend $300 on vegetables
3. Commit publicly to diet on FB
4. Dive head first into plate of bacon
Diet tip: Your pants won’t get too tight if you don’t wear any.
I know it’s three meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?