Our 25-year-old son moved back home with an eye toward socking away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he’d planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked into his room recently. In the corner was a milk jug with a few coins in it and a label that read “Condo down payment.”
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.