I’ll Take Mine to Go
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Q: Why go to the paint store when you're on a diet?
A: You can get thinner there.
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What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley
Q: Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A: He’ll dessert you.
Q. What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A. A beer in each hand.
Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A: You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.
A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.
1. Read about new diet
2. Spend $300 on vegetables
3. Commit publicly to diet on FB
4. Dive head first into plate of bacon
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!