Q: Why go to the paint store when you're on a diet?
A: You can get thinner there.
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What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A desserter.
Is it true that a collection of jokes about dieting can be referred to as: ‘a binge of jokes’?
Q: How did Native Americans say vegetarian?
A: “Bad hunter!”
I’m not vegetarian because I love animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
I’m not fat, but I’m not thin either. I’m at a point where you can definitely tell I like chocolate cake.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.