"We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."—George Carlin
Become more interesting every week!
Get our Read Up newsletter
Thanks! You're on our list.
And your life's about to get more interesting.
Q: How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: Pump kin!
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”—Jon Stewart
“If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed—like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese.”—Ted Nugent
Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot
Q: What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Q: What is it called when a turkey fumbles in football?
A: A fowl play
“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.”—Jim Davis.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy