Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with i. Millie: I is … Teacher: No, Millie. Always say, "I am." Millie: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
A month after Donald MacDonald started at Harvard, his mother called from Scotland. "And how are the American students, Donald?" she asked.
"They’re so noisy," he complained. "One neighbor endlessly bangs his head against the wall, while another screams all night."
"How do you put up with it?"
"I just ignore them and play my bagpipes."