Wouldn't it be so great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
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It took a lot of will power. But I finally gave up dieting.
“I’m not interested in any diet plan unless it lets me use rollover calories.”—@sbellelauren
I’m not vegetarian because I love animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate vegetables.
Hey, Lady! Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of the purse.
Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A beer in each hand.
What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A desserter.
How do most people curb their appetite? At the drive thru window.
My brain said “crunches” but my stomach auto-corrected it to “cupcakes.”