I never thought I'd be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
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I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
When someone tells me I gained weight, I just say I’m in the process of westward expansion.
Nutritionist: You should eat 1,200 calories a day.
Me: OK, and how many a night?
Q: What was the terracotta figurine’s favorite superfood?
A: Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Seeds.
-By Sam Benson Smith-
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
The only difference in my life when I’m on a diet is instead of saying, “I ate nachos,” I say, “I accidentally ate nachos.”—@behindyourback
I don’t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap the unhealthy foods out of my hand.
Ladies – want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of your purse.