My fitness coach told me to bend down and touch my toes. I said, “I don’t have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?” —@KerryKatona7
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Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
My snack got lost in my purse, so I guess I’m on a diet now.—@msgweni
A funny thing with a diet, the second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
If you are what you eat … I need to eat a skinny person.
Wouldn’t it be so great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
Diet tip: Your pants won’t get too tight if you don’t wear any.
Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.
Never go back for seconds… get it all the first time.