I tell people I'm on a low-carb diet. But in reality, I just eat pasta while lying on the floor.
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D.I.E.T. = Did I Eat That?
“Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.”
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
1. Read about new diet
2. Spend $300 on vegetables
3. Commit publicly to diet on FB
4. Dive head first into plate of bacon
You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Every time I make plans to eat better, I can hear my stomach laughing.
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: He went back four seconds.
Q: How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to stay in the dark!