I tell people I'm on a low-carb diet. But in reality, I just eat pasta while lying on the floor.
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Diet tip: Your pants won’t get too tight if you don’t wear any.
Never go back for seconds… get it all the first time.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley
If you are what you eat … I need to eat a skinny person.
Why did the diet coach send her clients to the paint store?
She heard you could get thinner there.
Hey, Lady! Want to drop 5 pounds? Let go of the purse.
My snack got lost in my purse, so I guess I’m on a diet now.—@msgweni
I’m on day 2 of a “diet” which means I’m always one minor annoyance away from eating every single person in my office.