I tell people I'm on a low-carb diet. But in reality, I just eat pasta while lying on the floor.
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Q: What do vegan zombies eat?
Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet?
A: You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Q: How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don’t know, but where do you get your protein!?
I keep trying to lose weight but it keeps finding me.
It’s hard to lose weight when you have an overactive knife and fork.
A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.
How do most people curb their appetite? At the drive thru window.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.